05/01/2020

Artist Residency in Motherhood Weekly Progress Report.

Today ends the fifth week of my Artist Residency in Motherhood and I locked myself in the bathroom.

The lock down has hurtled me back to my postpartum experience. The constant “tension between independence and dependence, between self-assertion and self-abnegation and between love and hate” is overwhelming. (p.11, Parker)

Weekend goal: re-read Mother Love /Mother Hate by Rozsika Parker.

The difference between lock down and postpartum is that now my child can assert herself and express her identity in opposition to mine verbally.

Redemption is in the fact “that conflicts generated by maternal ambivalence are potentially creative.” (preface, Parker)

In the studio this week—–

Playing with text collage, quote by Aeon.

Dryer lint paper continued. Laying damp paper over bodily care objects to create ghostly sculptures. Mother/Daughter pairs.

Knitting continued. Working on creating a body size piece of knitting that I will use to scrub the floor.

Daily maternal movements stitch journal progress.

https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5cca6990fd6793515a091e5f/1574705049575-1BVQRVG2UTGE9EBEKI6X/ke17ZwdGBToddI8pDm48kEb2purk_Q97xtB4o0QtvVxZw-zPPgdn4jUwVcJE1ZvWQUxwkmyExglNqGp0IvTJZUJFbgE-7XRK3dMEBRBhUpyvzbbd1l1r83yZkZyJQ_TDY2ozdEw73hlBxC-gn7wSS7iT6hcQOsajzyjTFPb7QVo/become-a-patron-button.png

04/17/2020

Weekly Ritual Progress Report and Redirection

Today is the end of the third week of my Artist Residency in Motherhood. A good time to reflect and redirect.

Reflections

Back in my second blog post, Letting Go, I talked about my struggle in collaborations between myself, a controlling Artist Mama, and a Defiant Daughter. I concluded…

“I need to balance maintaining control in the small moments available to me and letting go of control when I am with my daughter.”

In this time with my daughter I have noticed that she really enjoys the performative games we invent together. This is where Art and Play meet.

See post 04/08/2020, 04/14/2020 and our video tutorial series CREATIVE KIDS for examples.

We have also worked on other projects that have not been shared including building sculptures in our front yard on a busy street with items from inside our home. Will post pictures soon!

These are my moments of letting go- I am not naturally a very playful person.


I am maintaining control in the small moments through a stitch diary, handmade paper and meticulous grids. In these activities I am working with the debris of the domestic.

Redirection

I am paring down my rituals and focusing on what my daughter and I really enjoy.

When I am with my daughter we will continue our mapping and sculpture games as well as invent more games and new ways of interacting with each other and the world around us.

When I have alone time I will be focusing on my stitch journal featuring hand dyed cloth and thread and depicting domestic movements. I will also start work on a larger Body of Work piece involving mud dyeing, knitting and scrubbing. The third and final focus will be on small works on paper- grids and dryer lint paper- that I will be posting for sale soon!

Now that is a lot to do! So I am paring down my residency blog to just once per week on Fridays.

Progress

This week I have experimented with embedding objects and adding stitching to dryer lint paper.

I also added to my stitch journal.

04/10/2020

Weekly Ritual Progress Report

Dryer Lint Ritual

I vow from here on out I will make dryer lint paper every time I use my dryer. It reminds me to take out the lint, which I always forget, and will prevent me from ever running out of paper.

In the video I am adding art paper scraps to give the paper more structure. These scraps have some mineral pigment tests on them and I am curious if I will be able to tell in the finished paper.

Color with Me Ritual

Testing every crayon in the box every day of the quarantine.

Breathing Check Ritual

Apparently she is a light sleeper. She moves every minute or so when I’m drawing her. Although it may be because I am awkwardly squeezed between her ceiling and a squeaky bunk bed.

Knitting/Scrubbing Ritual

Knitting used to scrub the kitchen floor, as it looks in the morning light where it hangs in my studio window.

My pile of used pieces is larger than my pile of pieces waiting to be scrubbed with. Must get knitting!

Slowing Down and Handmade Paper

My Artist Residency in Motherhood just got extended by order of Oregon Governor Brown last night.

The Residency was supposed to end in May when my daughter returned to school. She will no longer be returning for the rest of the year. I honestly do not know how I feel about this yet.

(after coffee…)

I feel like I should panic or I’m supposed to be panicking… but also I’ve actually really enjoyed our time at home this week (as opposed to last week when it was not so great).

There I said it! (wipes sweat from forehead) Life is actually pretty good right now.

Except… I am running out of paper. Not toilet paper, just paper. My local art store where I buy my paper in bulk is closed and I have been feverishly making grids and dots soooo… its almost gone.

Work in Progress, toxic dots

Finding a solution to this predicament brings me back four years when I was making recycled paper at my in home childcare. We would take all those construction paper art projects the kids did, throw them in a blender and press the pulp onto a screen. The kids loved this.

I ended up doing this on my own with my discarded art projects and laying the still wet paper over some of the childcare toys, creating ghostly sculptures when the paper dried. After about 6 months of making paper like nothing else existed I stopped. I got interested in something else.

And now you know what I struggle with in my art practice. I get bored. I explore and then move on. (Or maybe this is just a challenging aspect of my personality- I get really excited about one thing and then when I have exhausted that excitement I move on.)

This quarantine may feed into that in the sense that I may run out of materials to continue on one path but it may also challenge this tendency.

Because life is so constant now and there is no where to go- I am forced to be still and work at a slower pace.

So this is my task for the day- make paper.